The Rag Mag, Volume #16: An Interview with Josh Kaine

The Heir to Valhalla.

At Battlelines 25, we saw the haunting blue eyes of the one and only Joshua Kaine on the jumbotron with the ominous teaser, “Enemies of the heir, beware.”

It was just enough to make us wonder…

This was in obvious reference to the now legendary Sinnocence, and there wasn’t much more to go on since we hadn’t seen his debut in the EWA to that point. Now that he’s entered the fray and decimated Joe Lemon in his debut, in under two minutes I might add, I decided I’d pester the newcomer to find out what brought him to the EWA — other than family connections — and soon discovered his love of wrestling before he knew who Sinnocence was, and the people he’s become acquainted with thus far.

So, without further adieu, let’s get to the interview. As always, this is printed exactly as it was transcribed, and the opinions I’ve added to certain responses were added after the fact.

Josh, I wanna first say thanks for the time, and wow…I just have to say it’s quite the surprise to be sitting down with the son of Jada Kaine, better known as Sinnocence. Former multi-time world heavyweight champion, now Sahara’s trainer…and apparently yours. Here you are all these years later, following in your birth mother’s footsteps, a woman that shattered the glass ceiling for what I like to call the modern woman’s era of wrestling. That’s some big shoes to fill, complete with the high expectations that come with it…

Q: How did it feel to find out who your real mother was, after all those years of being a fan of wrestling?

A: It’s…it was terrifying to be honest. I mean, I knew from the time I was little that I was adopted and my parents were real supportive to me growin’ up. They’re real good folks and they knew after I turned eighteen I was gonna get my adoption records unsealed and findin’ out I was the son of her…was indescribably scary. Jada Kaine’s always been one of the baddest women in the industry and I thought she was gonna shoot me on sight…especially since my biological dad isn’t around anymore to calm that temper of hers.

Q: The days leading to your debut with the EWA had to be scary. The pressure was on, and no matter what anybody might say about Lemon, he’s good enough to be on the EWA roster. Losing this match could have meant a total derailment of your career…how nervous were you going into this and what was it like to win in such dominating fashion?

A: Dude, I gotta say it was more terrified than just nervous. There was a lot riding in this debut…months of hardcore training with my birth mother, the constant meetings with creative, image consultants, brand building…I’m lucky in the fact that Jada handled a lot of that for me. She wanted me to worry about winning and I’ve gotta give props to Joe. He’s good and he almost got me…My knees were shaking until I walked out past that curtain. All those people, the lights. It’s just…enervating. I just learned that word. I was only in the ring for like two minutes and coming out felt like I had my whole being sucked outta me.

Q: And it took place in front of your actual parents, your adopted parents that is. How did they receive the overall show? The EWA isn’t for the feint of heart, and a lot of what goes on here is a bit, well…over the top for some. How do they feel about you getting involved with this business?

A: They…uh…They really cheered for me, Jada managed to get them in one of the ring-side sections. My ma wasn’t a real big fan of everythin’ else that happened. Especially with Sahara…and then that stuff with Maggie McIntyre and the Kings. Dad knows it’s just a show, but my ma’s a real good Christian lady. She said she was appalled.

My Reaction: I don’t want to laugh at this, but I have too. Bringing the uninitiated to an EWA show could be a harrowing experience. I could imagine them being proud of their adopted son winning in front of all those fans, but then seeing other — things — that goes on in the EWA would make any parent second guess whether this environment is the best thing for their child.

Q: Speaking of that, the other day you got yourself in a bit of a situation on YouTube when Sahara got caught hawking merchandise in the EWA lot. You made a brief appearance in that debacle — which she got away with — and she appeared quite friendly with you at the time. Care to comment?

A: There ain’t much to say, really. Jada’s trainin’ Sahara too, so when I went to pick up some stuff and I saw her in the crowd, she uh…she just kinda pulled me up and got real friendly.

Q: Real friendly…uh huh. You do know her reputation, right?

A: Look, I ain’t into shamin’ women for what they wanna do with their bodies and no one else should either. She’s a grown woman, she don’t have to answer to anyone but herself.

Q: Good answer. Understand they wouldn’t call this the “Rag” if I didn’t try to dig up dirt, so forgive me. Let’s move on. So you’ve made your big debut and won in grand fashion…it almost looked — easy — for lack of a better word. Next stop is the one and only Azrael Goeren at Asylum. It’s like they took you from the kiddie pool and threw you into the abyss…couple that with the fact you’re mother is, let’s say involved with this man? I guess this is a two pronged question. How do you feel about this match, and do you feel the EWA did this specifically to create drama?

A: It’s all forgiven. You ain’t askin’ to be malicious or nothin’. Yeah, when I saw that my heart kinda leapt up into my throat, cuz y’all know how much Jada likes him and all…and for a second I got that thought if ‘what if i hurt the man?’ she’ll kill me…but even with so many months of trainin’ with her it kinda became ‘goddamn this man is probably gonna lay me out in a hot minute’. It’ll be weird ‘n all facin’ him, but he’s a good man deep down. He treats Jada right and he’s a real hoot if yer feelin’ blue.

I dunno if’n they made me go against him to stir up a can o’ worms, but I’m gonna do my best. I ain’t never been to Mexico before, I promised my Ma I’d take lots of pictures.

My Reaction: This move looks like a controversial booking decision if I’ve ever saw one. This is the kind of match that can really hinder the kids growth if things go as wrong as potentially possible. Josh Kaine is likely not ready for such a match and this could ding his confidence something fierce depending on what goes down.

Q: If you wouldn’t mind, I’ll step a bit beyond the veil here with this next question. Azrael’s past is pretty well documented, it’s no secret the man he was or the people he was close with…do you feel he’s truly a changed man or is there a part of you that wonders? And furthermore, how does this make you feel about the fact he’s “with” your birth mother?

A: I know he’s been fightin’ with his daughter Grace for good part of the last year and he ain’t been the best man he could be to her when she was growin’ up. She got every right to be angry, but I think she took it way too far, yanno? He’s done a lot bad in his life, but I reckon everyone can turn over a new leaf. Besides, if you could see the way he looks after Jada…you wouldn’t wonder if he’s a changed man, you’d just know. And his son Max lives with us now too and he’s real level-headed. His pa is tryin’ to do right by him now, tryin’ to make up for not bein’ there.

And I can’t say anythin’ bad about a man that makes my birth mother that happy. I ain’t never seen her laugh as much since Champion’s Summit II and they got back together. I mean, Max and I gotta buy stock in earplugs now, but I ain’t gonna begrudge no one that kinda happiness.

My Reaction: This has got to be the most fucked up living situation in the history of the world. It’s like The Brady Bunch meets Shameless.

Q: Okay, let’s get to something a bit more simple…in a recent interview, you claimed it took you months to convince Jada, err, your birth mother to train you. What exactly do you feel was her apprehension to do so?

A: She ain’t want me to follow in her footsteps, is all. This business ain’t exactly been kind to her and a lot of other people. She flipped out on me when I first brought it up, told me to go back home and help my dad out in the shop and live like a normal person…but I cain’t do that with knowin’ who my folks are. She don’t wanna see me get hurt or screwed over, so that’s why when she did finally cave…she got all mama bear on me. I ain’t never worked so hard in my life for somethin’, but she ain’t just gonna give it to me and I prefer it that way.

My Reaction: The fact Jada is training both Josh and Sahara, and has been for weeks, leads me to believe that there is NO possible way these two have not had near everyday exposure to one another, whether either of them admit it or not. As stated, Brady Bunch meets Shameless.

Q: Who came up with the Enemies of the Heir Beware on your teaser? It makes it seem like you’d be a little more…intimidating, but you’re really kind of a cream puff all things considered.

A: Hahahaha, that was me. Jada wasn’t happy with it at all, but I really like Harry Potter and it was her idea to bill me as the Heir of Valhalla. Besides, it got me noticed, didn’t it?

Q: True enough. What else do you plan on doing to get yourself noticed?

A: Oh, I ain’t gonna spoil that surprise yet.

This is the usual name association section of the interview, I’m sure you know how this works. I’ll name an active wrestler in the EWA, you give us your thoughts about them…unfined and unfiltered.

Q: Alexander Haven?

A: He’s the boss, mostly, I guess? I dunno. I ain’t too hot on him personally.

My Reaction: Well, as stated, I transcribe these interviews exactly as they were spoken — little word of advice, kid, as the new guy, don’t word associate “I ain’t hot on him” when I ask you about the boss or you might find yourself in more vs Azrael Goeren type matches than you’ve bargained for.

Q: Martin Robinson?

A: It seems like a lot of the second-gen stars here in the EWA have real bad issues with their parents. I mean, maybe I’m just lucky that I grew up with good folks, and Jada says this business ain’t good to relationships and families. That bein’ the case, I think he’s a jerk. His momma raised him better than that, I’m sure of it.

Q: Keeping with the 3K theme, Michael Draven?

A: (audible sigh) I don’t like bullies and what he did ta Maggie ain’t right at all, but them two are like…two cats fightin’ in a sack of crazy. Whatever is goin’ on between them ain’t gonna end well and I sure as hell ain’t gettin’ in the middle of it.

My Reaction: Something about Michael Draven REALLY annoyed the kid.

Q: The World Heavyweight Champion, Ray Willmott?

A: To be honest, I like him a lot…he’s worked real hard to get where he is and he ain’t a pile a shit to his family or his lady. Must be tough to be the World Champion, I hope I kin git there someday. Won’t be tomorrow or next month, but soon, you know? Hell, Grace Goeren did it before she was twenty and she’s crazier than a raccoon in a gunnysack, but she still did it. I hope he’s got a good reign though and he ain’t gotta fight Laura Seton for it.

Q: Maggie McIntyre?

A: I think she ain’t all that right in the head either, but I think she’s got a good heart…she just needs to find it again.

Q: Maggie’s best “friend”, Sahara?

A: I don’t think they’re really best friends anymore. Sahara’s her own woman and she’s goin’ through some stuff, but she’s trainin’ with Jada to actually learn how to wrestle. She’s a real spitfire, to be honest, kinda reminds me of Jada when I was watchin’ her growin’ up. Now that she’s pretty much standin’ on her own, I think she’s gonna be amazin’.

My Reaction: Yes, I know they’re not friends anymore, Josh.

Q: How about Maggie’s best “friend” Sahara’s little brother, Mojave?

A: Oh, I got to meet him out in Vegas! Jada brought me along ‘cause she was gonna help out Mr. Goeren with his match if folks interfered. He’s real nice, I like him a lot. I hope he heals up okay and comes back real soon.

My Overall Reaction: Real nice kid. Too nice, even. Kinda reminds me of that scene in Goodfellas where young Henry Hill wastes 8 fuckin’ aprons on that guy that was shot outside the pizzeria. The reason I bring that up is because one of the mobsters says shortly after, “We’re gonna have to toughen this kid up”, and Josh Kaine just seems too nice for the EWA. This is undoubtedly his adoptive parents shining through his personality, but being the blood of Jada Kaine, we all know he’s got that darkness lurking somewhere. Then again, he did decimate Joe Lemon in under two minutes making a pretty clear statement that he’s not gonna hold back.

Until then, maybe Josh and Natalie Burrows can form the tag team “The Saccharin Sa