I’m back, folks! Took a little break from the EWA to write a column focusing on SHOOT Project (because, you know, other wrestling DOES exist), and it’s been quiet around here for a bit while the big man took a much needed vacation…so it’s time to drum up some noise,
HATE dirt, or whatever you want to call it.
As hinted in the column title, the winds of change are upon us. Look around. You can feel it. You can see it. Over the past few months the Hierarchy has crumbled into dust, Sinnocence was usurped as the World Heavyweight Champion, and the pivotal summer season is upon us. And make no mistake, the summer session has always played a pivotal role in the world of
Did you catch my not-so-subtle attempt to poke fun at the EWA right there? If not, me pointing it out should do the trick. You don’t have to tell me you’re an entertainer, Cedric, if you entertain me it’s kind of implied.
The Winds of Change.
Don’t look now, Youth, but you’re following in the footsteps of the Hierarchy. You just haven’t admitted it yet. Huh?! I can already see the comments section filling up with Youth marks talking about how they’re the most powerful faction in the EWA. That may be…but the Youth I see today is a shell of what it was even a month ago. They’re phoning it in at this point because they’ve grown overconfident in themselves. Out with the old…in with the new. HATE has risen…and as the prophetic Indrid Calder warned our beloved blue eyed angel, Sahara, alliances are forming. We now have The Institute, Goeren and Goeren (not sure what else to call them), and I’m sure we’re not done yet. I see a grand faction war looming on the horizon of the EWA, and this time I’m hopeful we actually get the war we’re being promised as we head toward Path of the Warrior. Oh, and I’m not discounting The Youth, either…I just think they’re bored.
So, being that this is the EWA’s summer classic…I’m going to give my predictions on what will surely go down as a
PPV supershow to remember!
Shaun Sinclair v Indrid Calder. I’m going to go with Indrid Calder on this one…they’re both backed by a rather powerful faction, so neither gains an upper hand with that, and taking nothing away from the faster more athletic Shaun Sinclair, I just feel greater momentum behind Calder right now.
Alyssa Marie Haven v Maggie McIntyre. I’m going with Maggie McIntyre, because I not so secretly loves her. And I don’t loves Alyssa Marie Haven.
NOTHING v Grace Goeren v Martin Robinson. I don’t know what it is, but some of this card seems disjointed. Half of the people listed are in what seems like 7 matches in 2 nights. ANYWAY…I’m going to say Grace Goeren wins this and walks out of PotW as Network Champion because NOTHING and Robinson will be so busy focusing on each other, they’re going to forget about Grace. I’d recommend not forgetting about Grace.
Kilminster vs X-Calibur. I think X-Calibur is done…not sure what’s going on with him as of late, but I’d be surprised if he even showed up. Kilminster may very well win the tapout title without so much as throwing a punch here. I hope I’m wrong…because when this was originally scheduled, I remember thinking…WOW…that’s going to be a killer match between two bonafide ring generals. Also, it’s cute that the EWA continues to promote the Hierarchy all over this card with these
Stop trying to make the Hierarchy happen, EWA…IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
ohaurgen Johanss oen v Draven. This is what I mean by disjointed. What’s with all the double bookings? I’m going to give this to Draven by default because of experience reasons. Also, I don’t really know who Jurgen Johanssen yet…I mean, I know who he is, but you know what I mean.
Grady Smith v Alexander Haven. I’m going to give this one to Haven…but I’ll openly admit it’s just a hopeful guess. If you haven’t watched the promo Deja Vu 2…I highly recommend it. The flashback makes me want to see Haven win, just seems like poetic justice.
The Vice Squad v The Latino Powers. I’m thinking the Latino Powers retain the titles here because I’m not sure I fucking care. The Latino Powers seem to be at least trying to get something going here, but they’re working against nothing to this point. And not NOTHING the wrestler. Did anyone catch that scathing Sahara promo Path of Anger? If you ask me, she has every right to be mad as hell. We don’t get to see our beloved Ice Warrior but we get to see this.
Draven v Robertson. This should be a title match…it’s a fucking
PPV supershow. I’m not sure they want us to call them PPVs anymore. That being said, too close to call. Robertson and Draven are both superstars in the EWA, and deservedly so…I just wish there was more at stake. There’s some old school feelings bubbling to the surface in regard to this one but it seems undersold by the fact the outcome of the match is rather meaningless.
Dredd v Calder. Wow…as much as I love Calder, I just don’t see him beating Dredd in this. And before you HATE marks jump on me, let me explain. I think this match sucks. No, not because I hate Dredd or Calder, or think they don’t match up well, but because IF PotW unfolds as I predict it will, Calder will have been overbooked by virtue of him defeating Shaun Sinclair. IF that comes to pass, I think Calder will phone this one in specifically because the PotW final becomes a far more important fight for both Calder and HATE, and he’s going to save as much as he can for THAT match, which takes place AFTER this match. Which, by proxy, means this match suffers.
Napalm v Dietrich. Talk about a feud with some long beautiful legs on it (yes, that’s a wine reference, I’m SOOOO not talking about Johnny or Johan’s legs)…and finally it takes place a cage, where neither can escape…unnecessarily wrapped in barbed wire. Remember when you heard steel cage back in the day and you were like, holy shit…somebody might die! Oh well, move on, old man at the Rag Mag…let them have their fucking barbed wire if that’s what they want! Ok fine! I’ll let this one go and chalk it up to me being old. My prediction for this one is … ready for it?! Napalm wins. I think he found whatever he was looking for in that match against Sahara…he needs to stop taking things so lightly and return to being the killer he is. I think him FINALLY not waiting until the night before a show to cut a promo shows he’s waking up.
Grace v Calder. As you can see, I went with how I predicted this show would unfold Calder advancing…and WOW what a match this would be. Oh, and I’m not taking anything away from Shaun Sinclair…if he somehow proves me wrong, Sinclair v Calder will be just as amazing…but come on, everyone, Grace Goeren is sizzling hot right now. I think she sweeps PotW, becomes Network Champion AND defeats Calder in what should be a five star match. I cannot wait to see this one, no matter who advances, be it Calder or Sinclair. Oh, and neither changes my prediction. I think Grace Goeren wins it either way.
Crippler v Willmott. Here we go with the EWA still trying to make the Hierarchy happen again. w/ The Hierarchy my ass. Even when the Hierarchy actually existed Mr. Red Hot wasn’t with the Hierarchy in anything but name. That said, I think Crippler wins this, because honestly HATE is on the rise. But to be fair, Willmott has been on fire as of late and the best thing that’s happened to him was the destruction of the Hierarchy. It seems to have set him free to be himself again. While I’m leaning toward Crippler because of his affiliation with HATE at the moment…this is a tough one to call. I think it’ll be an amazing match given the I Quit stipulation, because I don’t see any quit in either of these men.
Seton v Azrael [w/ The Hierarchy] v Kage for the World Heavyweight Title. This is going to be an amazing match. This match has that aura surrounding it that it can become one of those transcendent matches you can show a non wrestling fan and even they’d be like…”FUCK YES THAT WAS AWESOME!” This is a show stopping main event and I honestly can’t even guess who might win this. All three deserve to be in this…but dammit, I said I’d give my predictions, so here it is. I predict…drum roll please…I predict Laura Seton does it again and steals this match from Az and Kage to become the NEWWWWW EWA World Heavyweight Champion.
So there you have it, folks…those are my unvarnished predictions and thoughts on this supershow they’re calling Path of the Warrior…anything you disagree with feel free to comment on…otherwise go fuck yourselves. To all my loyal Rag Mag readers, I hope you enjoyed this Path of the Warrior edition!