The Rag Mag, Volume #4: An Interview with Sinnocence

This interview took place on location after the finish of Battlelines XIII. For as much as people talk about Sinnocence, or Jada Kaine being the scourge of the earth, she was all business in this interview. Professional and passionate in every regard. Keeping in mind her heavily damaged psyche — think of her past and what occurred on this very day — and how far she’s come in life and in the world of wrestling, what she’s been able to accomplish is nothing short of astonishing.

I’ve been around the world of wrestling for many years. Long before the Rag ever existed. And in that time, as both a fan and writer on the subject, I’ve seen many women come and go in this “man’s world”, some quite talented in their own right. But none quite like Jada Kaine. The EWA is the big time. It’s, as they’d say in baseball nomenclature, THE show. And with each passing week, the EWA inches closer to the point of fame they once achieved in the early part of the century.

And a big part of that?

Sinnocence, former multi-time EWA World Heavyweight Champion.

Let me say that again. Former multi-time EWA World Heavyweight Champion. No, not some prissy ladies only title…but the woman that — in my opinion — single handedly shattered the glass ceiling that once separated the women from the men. Sporting showstopping moves like the Ride of the Valkyrie, Sinnocence paved the way for countless others to finally emerge as legitimate contenders in what was once a world that belonged solely to men.

So, without further ado, let’s get to it…

Q: Let’s start a bit before Asylum took place and changed the landscape of the EWA. You were involved in an incredible gauntlet of matches on a single show, where you once again reaffirmed your position at the top of the EWA. What was it like going through such a brutal series of matches in a single night and how did you prepare for such an event?

A: It was brutal punishment, nothing more. The only way I could prepare for something like that was to steel myself and hope for the best. I already hit the gym and the sparring ring like a madwoman, but that was like preparing for war. The only thing you can really do is pray and hope your rifle doesn’t jam.

My Reaction: An honest opinion, loved the rifle analogy. All’s fair in love and war…I guess. Q: Asylum de los Muertos, or as we’d say here, Asylum of the Dead. As a fan, it was a rather shocking moment when you were finally dethroned as champion in a match that looked specifically designed to strip you of the title. As a fan watching, I couldn’t help but be disappointed that when you finally lost, it was in a gimmick match that gave you little control over the outcome…did you feel slighted in any way that the EWA essentially forced you into such a situation?

A: Not at all. I knew the title was going to be on the line and when you’re thrown into a den of wolves, all clamoring for the same piece of meat… Essentially, shit happens. I still hold the record for the longest reigning champion, and was pinned by none other than Laura Seton. I was happy it was her and she got to shine for at least fifteen minutes with the title. She’ll get another chance at it.

My Reaction: I still can’t help but feel disappointed that her run ended in what I can only call a clusterfuck…that said, I have to agree with her here. Shit happens. And, well, shit happened. Q: In the aftermath of Asylum, you had a meeting with Grace Goeren, what exactly were you hoping to accomplish, and what is your relationship with Grace like today?

A: Oh, I’m sure she still wants to rip my face off. We don’t have a relationship, but I see too much of my younger self in the girl to just sit idly by and let nothing be done about it. I want her to find her own path in the business…and maintain her freedom and dignity while doing it. Things I didn’t have in the early years of my career. In a few short years, Grace will be main eventing in any promotion she enters, she should be able to do that on her own terms. I was also hoping to ease some of the hatred for her father, but she’s got every right to be angry with him.

My Reaction: I find Grace fascinating, and if anything, this was a ringing endorsement of what’s to come. Q: Following up on that, you’ve seemingly become…involved with Azrael Goeren in a way that looks to be playing with fire. Is this in any way related to the conversation you had with his daughter, Grace?

A: To be perfectly clear, I have not taken Azrael Goeren as a lover. He makes me laugh and I guess it gives him some measure of peace to be around me. We’re a lot alike and you know how misery loves company. He brings levity into my life, I hope to repay him for that someday. God knows living with me isn’t easy.

My Reaction: So…does that mean you’re available? (Do note I did NOT ask her that in person…getting shot down would have caused me great harm.) Now, did she say she likes to laugh? Where did I leave that book of knock knock jokes? Q: This is more of a journalistic question, because dirt is what I happen to deal in. You also have a somewhat…strange relationship with Stacy Vandervort, where you discuss rather vague matters EWA related. What exactly is your relationship with the executive assistant to those in control of the EWA?

A: Stacy and I had an infatuation…and it was convenient, nothing more. We care about each other, but it goes no further than that. We initially had an arrangement of me protecting her from Hank…then she wanted help in ousting Gates from power. I wanted to be Champion, so it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. I did what she needed me to do, and she kept Gates from screwing me over, though she did nothing under the table to screw anyone else over at the time. She simply kept his grubby little paws off of my title reign.

Q: On May 16th, at Battlelines 12, you dropped a bomb and pulled yourself out of the Path of the Warrior which led to a coming cage match with Kilminster. We will get more into that later in the interview, but for now I want to focus on you dropping out of the tournament. The decision to do so had to be a hard one…for someone so focused on winning, I guess my question is, what was the catalyst moment where you realized you had to do this?

A: It was during the match for control the EWA. When he rolled me up and pinned me. I knew he was the only thing that mattered.

Q: Any advice for some of the newcomers to the EWA?

A: For the girls, work your ass off and never compromise your dignity and freedom for the sake of a title belt. For everyone, never ever underestimate how far someone is willing to go to fuck you over.

My Reaction: Are you listening, Sahara? I honestly feel like I could have asked her questions until the stars burned out she’s accomplished so much in the EWA but we’re only allowed so much time to conduct these interviews and given that this is her farewell, I wanted to end this in a way that saved the best for last. So, for now, we’re going to do a bit of name association before we cap this off with a pretty heartfelt finale. Q: Laura Seton.

A: The one who pinned Sinn. Great lady and a seriously underestimated competitor. I’m disappointed we haven’t gotten to cross paths before now.

My Reaction: Laura is one of the all time greats and you could feel the respect Sinn felt for her here. Q: Your ex-husbands star student, Shaun Sinclair.

A: Shaun is the prodigal prince, he’ll be the one to pick up the slack when the king finally is dethroned.

My Reaction: I’d love to agree, but I cannot see Kilminster stepping aside gracefully for any of his students anyone…so if Shaun expects to pick up the slack after the king is dethroned, he’s going to have to be the one that dethrones him. Permanently. Q: X-Calibur.

A: He calls me Khaleesi when no one else is around.

My Reaction: So do I. Khaleesi. Q: Chris Kage.

A: The perfect example of wrestling alzheimer’s. Consistently forgets that he is not the longest reigning EWA World Champion ever.

My Reaction: My feeling is Kage is a heels heel. While I’m sure the irony is not lost on her, this reaction is exactly why he does it. Q: Azrael Goeren.

A: A kindred hedonist. Henrik, take care of your children. All of them. Take care of yourself. Find someone who thinks your dick tattoo is adorable. Butterflies just don’t really do it for me.

My Reaction: I um…probably shouldn’t touch this one. Normally, I save name association for the end of these interviews, but in this case, because of the emotional nature of this last question and answer, I’ve decided to put it last. We also had to remove a few of the name associations simply due to the length of the interview, so for that, I apologize…but that’s none of your business anyway. This is MY magazine…until the Draven’s buy it, anyway. Q: Your behavior as of late, especially towards your ex-husband Osbourne Kilminster, has been unusual to say the least. You’ve been provoking him at every opportunity because you say he hasn’t ever really put all of himself in a match when facing you. Calling him out on his cowardice, despite numerous warnings that you were not going to like the ending if he does truly unleash on you. It almost seems like you’re wanting him to try and destroy you. Are you trying to prove that you can take him at his best?

A: First of all, never call him a coward. Osbourne Kilminster, pound for pound, is the best fighter in the business right now. He fights for what he believes in and stands by his students and allies. He’s never wanted to be in the ring with me, he doesn’t want to hurt me.

I’m not trying to prove anything. To put it bluntly…

I can’t do this anymore. Toward the end of my first run with SHOOT Project, I was involved in a hardcore match. Light tubes were pulled out at one point and I was smacked across the face with one of them. The debris cause significant scarring to my cornea, leading to loss of vision in my right eye. It stayed that way for a number of months until I found a surgeon in Japan to correct some of the damage. I was told it wouldn’t last forever, especially if I continued wrestling. There have been a few other health problems cropping up lately too. Ozzy and I stopped for a few years, but when Duane Gates came knocking at the doors of the Institute in Ealing…

I’m an addict, as much as I hate to admit it. Years ago it was drugs, then drinking…but it’s always been competition at the heart of it. I shouldn’t have come back in the first place, but I can’t regret that I did. I got one more chance to shine, but it cost me…it cost me more than I wanted to pay, because I couldn’t stop myself from continually pursuing the fucking belt.

So, I made a decision that I was going to stop, once and for all…but I needed someone to make me stop. We may be divorced, we may be at each other’s throats…and I may sound like a heartsick idiot, but I never stopped loving him. He’s the only one I trust. The only one I trust to do something like this without killing me, but it would take a lot of pushing. I couldn’t tell him what I wanted, he would never have agreed to it. And I know when all is said and done…and I’m in some hospital unable to breathe on my own that he’ll probably never forgive me for making him do it…

But I’ll still love him.

I may be the goddamn Valkyrie of this business and paved the way for numerous other female competitors to be able to stand toe to toe with the men, but when it comes right down to it…I’ve never been as happy as when I’m with him. I’m sorry I did it this way, Ozzy. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t see any other way to make myself stop. You stood by my side, fighting with me and protecting me for years…you always deserved so much better than me.

I hope someday you can forgive me.

Give me hell, Viking.

Carry me to Valhalla and I’ll return the favor when it’s your time to go.

My Reaction: I’ve gone back and forth on the decision to either add my personal comments to the end of this interview, or simply end it with her words. Up until now, I had every intention of ending it with her words…but I feel compelled to add my thoughts, as it’s not often an interview sticks with me like this one did. I may have even promised her I’d end it with her words…but I’m sure she’ll understand. At least, I hope she does.

Since the interview, I’ve been haunted by the way this interview ended when I look back at how her story unfolded knowing what I know now. And believe me when I say this, it takes a lot to haunt me. There was a certain sadness in the way she spoke…regret even, at least, that’s the feeling I was stuck with long after the interview ended. I was left with a distinct sense of loss…yet if you could imagine, a hint of hope remained.

Hope for what? I’m not sure…let’s just say I felt it.

Ultimately, was her success in the EWA worth it? In some ways, yes…in others, surely not. After all, the world isn’t black and white. For as much as she won…she also lost.

Let me say it now, I’ve never liked Sinnocence. Never. While I felt somewhat starstruck giving this interview, I still couldn’t help disliking her. Obviously she was talented, she held the EWA world title, but this wasn’t about talent…it was about the person. Or, at least, who I thought was the person. Everything about her seemed broken, both past and present. From the people she aligned herself with, to those she threw under the bus to get to where she is, there was just something…wrong with it all. I didn’t know exactly what it was or why, but I disliked her because of it. Throughout the interview, I had gone from disliking her to feeling sorry for her…to going on a journey with her and finally understanding how she felt, and ultimately, liking her for who she truly was. It was the first time I heard Jada Kaine after endless months Sinnocence.

There is a haunting song called Oats in the Water by Ben Howard. Go ahead, look it up and listen…then read the lyrics. The song, from the way it sounds to the words spoken within, reminds me of the story of Jada Kaine as it unfolded before our eyes. From the broken relationships, to her go it your own attitude, to winning at any cost…all of which led to the ultimate loss she experienced on her journey to Valhalla.

Give you hell, indeed.

This may be it for now, but the gates of Valhalla aren’t ready to open for you just yet, Viking Queen.

And this is one story that needs an epilogue.